My Zombie Apocalypse Questions

The Zombie apocalypse…

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking and talking with friends about the “what if’s” of the zombie apocalypse. Seriously, what if it DID in fact hit? Here are a few of my questions and opinions on those questions


(1) If the zombie apocalypse hits would cloning be legalized in order to mass produce human flesh to feed the zombies?
If we ever decide to domesticate them for pets, we would need some type of artificial food. They eat flesh and there isn't enough in the world for us to eat bacon with them. Cloning would be a no-brainer in my opinion. You could make little "zombie away" packets for the stranded, homeless ones that has meat in a can to throw at them. Maybe even hardened ears and toes blood coated can be manufactured as treats. They wouldn't be picky about what they are given because they are stupid so no fancy cookie cutters are needed.

(2) If zombies were to be brought back to life, would cosmetic companies make a fortune creating skin rehabilitation products?
I think scientists would get more wrinkles in creating such a thing because it wouldn't be easy. If they could turn a zombie back to a decent moron of a human I'm sure they would work on creating skin cell replenishment. I'm sure surgeries to connect the sliced up wounds or severed limbs would have to take place first, but after that process work on working out that decayed skin blemishes.

(3) Would hipsters deliberately wear zombie clothes to appear anti-establishment?
We all know hipsters like to appear dirty with their retro clothes, where else would they get the real deal? …By taking the clothes off the dead zombies of course. Maybe that would just reverse the affect and clean people would become the new aged hipsters. Wait, why are zombie clothes ALWAYS so torn up and beat down? I bet if I wore a t-shirt for a month around the world it still wouldn’t look like that, what do they get themselves into?

(4) If zombies never poop would they have HUGE zombie food babies from all that ::om nom nom:: munching?If they are dead, their organs most likely don’t work, so they wouldn’t be digesting the pounds of flesh they consume on a regular bases. The more food they have in them, the more slowed down they will become, therefore easier to avoid, kill, or capture the walking dead.


(5) If all zombies ever do is eat the living, how does that person have any flesh or guts left to even come back to life?
Think about it. In movies they always seem so violent and end up eating the entire person. How do so many people end up as a zombie? I doubt zombies who corner a human would just take a small bite and say “there ya go, you can be my friend.”


There are millions of questions out there, but those are ones I haven't heard of yet. Possibly the real zombie apocalypse will most likely be us turning lazy like the people in Idioacracy or Wall-E. Let me hear your comments on this! :)